Not so Favorite Things

Let’s get the obvious out of the way.  Not so favorite things Nos. 1, 2 and 3: Torture, murder and rape.

Some time ago, I worked in Sudan documenting persecution histories of Ethiopian refugees applying for asylum to the United States. Most workdays would find me behind a desk in Khartoum, opposite a refugee and a translator, listening to stories of torture, murder and rape while I chain smoked Egyptian cigarettes to keep from shaking.  (Don’t worry, I quit smoking 25years ago—now I pray when I’m upset; it works much better and doesn’t have the nasty health and beauty consequences.)

Their stories contained events and details that I once thought only happened during the Dark Ages.  While no one reported the use of iron maidens or the rack, people were burned, beaten and violated in other horrible ways.  They fled from burning villages, escaped from captivity or left their homes just ahead of death squads. They endured long, dangerous journeys, many on foot, avoiding patrols and human traffickers. At the border with Sudan they considered themselves lucky if they were only raped.  In the case of rape, gender didn’t matter.  

Listening to their stories day after day I spent a lot of energy trying to stay objective as my job required.  

One day I interviewed a young woman whose parents were killed. Her father was hung upside down and his bare feet were beaten with a red-hot iron. Her mother was spared torture. She was shot. The young woman managed to escape and survive the one-hundred mile journey only to be gang raped at the border by Sudanese border guards. Life in Khartoum wasn’t much better for her. She had been raped and beaten twice in the year since she arrived. The child she held on her lap was a product of one of those incidents. She wanted to get to the US where her brother and his wife would take care of her. She seemed so sincere that I failed to hold back my tears.

While we talked I noticed my boss standing nearby and listening. Suddenly he approached us, slammed his fist on the desk and screamed, “Liar!" Then he went into a tirade about how the baby wasn’t even hers and she ought to burn in hell. 

Not so favorite thing No. 4:  Judging others.

Shocked and confused, I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes before I completed the interview.  When I was finally done I confronted my boss.  He did apologize but he went on and told me that he had just discovered that many refugees hired consultants to help them improve their story and it’s presentation.   “They’re cheats and liars” he said.

I believed him at first. Maybe because it was less horrific to believe the refugees were lying rather than that people could so easily torture, murder and rape.  And Maybe I felt betrayed. It took a lot of energy to do my job and I felt like I was making a significant sacrifice. Believing I was being lied to made that sacrifice feel worthless. So I felt angry too. I lost my ability to stay objective as I began to think that all the people I interviewed were liars.  One thing we all hate is to feel bad for somebody that doesn’t deserve it.

Over the next few months, though, I befriended some other caseworkers and refugees. What I learned from them and their friends changed my whole outlook.  

First of all, some refugees did hire consultants, much like a job applicant here in the US would hire a resume writer. And of course, some refugees were liars. Some weren’t persecuted or mistreated. Some even held good jobs in Khartoum as accountants or as other skilled professionals.  But they were the minority.  

Here’s what I learned: The majority of the refugees were Christians. They lived in Sudan, a country under strict Islamic law, lived in poverty, endured beatings and humiliations and had no rights or legal status. The majority of the refugees made the dangerous journey from Ethiopia because if they didn’t they’d be dead.   And even being tortured is better than dying.

So why did I condemn them?  Doesn’t matter because I shouldn’t have.

In the book of John 8:1-11, a group of Pharisees brings a woman to Jesus who was caught in the act of adultery.  There was no doubt about her guilt and the Law proscribed stoning her to death.  But, they asked Jesus what he would do? Adultery is a serious thing. Even today, a person who commits adultery is judged. But Jesus didn’t judge her. Nor did he curse her nor condemn her.  

The point is that we never know why people are the way they are or do the things they do. In that Bible story we aren’t told why the woman committed adultery. Was she just plain evil? Or did she somehow think she had no other choice? Did she willingly do it or was she raped? We don’t know. And we don’t know because it doesn’t matter.

We shouldn’t judge the poor, the sick, divorcees, alcoholics or anyone, including the torturers, murderers and rapists. That is for God on judgement day.